My brother = wtf.

This email was in my inbox this morning. This is why I am the way I am. Welcome to my family.

Subject: from travis the great

Dear Lesser Child,

I would like to inform you on my jersey situation. I have purchased a celtic jersey online so i will no longer need one of those. If you are are able to find one of the new Germany jerseys at a good price please buy it(i would prefer with a name). I will need it to support Germany in the euro 2008, when they will reclaime their rightful supremecy. Italy no longer has a chance without Cannavaro, Totti, or the cheater Materazzi. If you happen to go to Spain over easter break I will need an Atletico de Madrid jersey With Aguero #10 on the back. I am glad to see you are going to church to save your soul from eternal hell.

Aufweidersehen,

Kaiser Travis

Uh huh. This is my brother. He is awesome. Demanding, but awesome. And really, it's hard to ever be mad at or offended by him, for a variety of reasons.

• He obviously cares about me, as he would like to save me from eternal damnation.
• He's clever, but I'm the more academic of the two. This means that he's more the class clown than anything, and he keeps having to live in my shadow.
• He's hilarious. And only I really understand him (I mean literally. Those of you that have heard him talk know what I mean).
• He's approximately as full of himself as I am of myself. It makes for a good team.

This is the best thing that I've woken up to in a long time. What a sweet boy ahaha.

- C